CAT SEEN IN OBAN
An eye witness statement today became the third reported sighting in as
many weeks of a big cat in Oban.The cat, said to be "bigger then the
normal size of a cat" has been spotted on the outskirts of town and
has been said to take chickens.
Local man Lorne Walton said, "Y'ought to have seen this thing. Like,
it was massive. A right big cat it was."
LOCH NESS WEBCAM
Stay tuned to the webcam.
E-mail us if you see any Loch
Ness monster activity. Simply log the time of your sighting and write "Idiot"
in the subject line of your e-mail.
A new study claims that angst is a disease and is as contagious as flu.
Dr James Grant said, "There's no doubting the evidence. We should definitely
be very worried about this. I think. Although, it could be that I've caught
it already and am overreacting. Its hard to say."
SCOT PORN ROMP
wondering about the feelings of 'not quite entrant' number 252.
of The Annabel Chong Story, where the pornstar romped with 251 men
in 10 hours, were
Wreckered managed to track down Scot Charles Longfellow at his
home in Hope Road, Lothian, and asked the aspiring romeo how it felt to
have been an almost ran at the biggest 'love in' since 1969. 'Not good',
When asked to expand Mr Longfellow simply began rocking back and forth.
His sense of rhythm was impressive but became boring to watch.
» Gibraltar's got the hump again.
» The Middle east is still at it
is still in the huff with India.
fires and droughts across the
» Stock exchanges shaking.
of giant kangaroos found in Australia
plan to go to Mars
» So do the Chinese.
DOG FINDS BATON OF TRUTH
A farmer in Spain claims his dog has unearthed the Baton of Truth. Reputed
to have been stolen by the Knights Templar in the 14th Century, the solid
gold baton is said by theologians to be a sacred baton which grants he
who wields it unerring clarity of thought and vision. Farmer Jose Vicenze
told reporters "When I realised that I was holding the actual Baton
of Truth I just couldn't believe it."
In yet another damaging blow. the home secretary was forced into an embarrasing
u-turn after his recent climbdown on the issue of policy changes on the
This latest gaffe coincides with recent calls for all gaffes to be vetoed
by a standing whip. A spokesman denied that there was any conflict within
the cabinet, pointing out that "the standing whip vote is a free
vote and that no final u turn will be considered until the findings of
the independent cross standing committe had been given due and careful
scrutiny. I thank you."