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empty space gif Issue # 1
The limited edition
World news through our eyes
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frontpageempty space gifnewsboxempty space gifyourwreckempty space gifsportsempty space giflifestyle
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BIG CAT SEEN IN OBAN
An eye witness statement today became the third reported sighting in as many weeks of a big cat in Oban.The cat, said to be "bigger then the normal size of a cat" has been spotted on the outskirts of town and has been said to take chickens.
Local man Lorne Walton said, "Y'ought to have seen this thing. Like, it was massive. A right big cat it was."
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NEW
LOCH NESS WEBCAM

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Stay tuned to the webcam.
E-mail us if you see any Loch Ness monster activity. Simply log the time of your sighting and write "Idiot" in the subject line of your e-mail.
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ANGST CONTAGIOUS
A new study claims that angst is a disease and is as contagious as flu. Dr James Grant said, "There's no doubting the evidence. We should definitely be very worried about this. I think. Although, it could be that I've caught it already and am overreacting. Its hard to say."
SCOT PORN ROMP
Viewers of The Annabel Chong Story, where the pornstar romped with 251 men in 10 hours, were
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left wondering about the feelings of 'not quite entrant' number 252.
romeo
Wreckered managed to track down Scot Charles Longfellow at his home in Hope Road, Lothian, and asked the aspiring romeo how it felt to have been an almost ran at the biggest 'love in' since 1969. 'Not good', he said.
boring
When asked to expand Mr Longfellow simply began rocking back and forth. His sense of rhythm was impressive but became boring to watch.
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WORLD NEWS


» Gibraltar's got the hump again.
» The Middle east is still at it
»
Pakistan is still in the huff with India.
» Forest fires and droughts across the USA
» Stock exchanges shaking.
» Evidence of giant kangaroos found in Australia
» Russians plan to go to Mars
» So do the Chinese.
FARM DOG FINDS BATON OF TRUTH
A farmer in Spain claims his dog has unearthed the Baton of Truth. Reputed to have been stolen by the Knights Templar in the 14th Century, the solid gold baton is said by theologians to be a sacred baton which grants he who wields it unerring clarity of thought and vision. Farmer Jose Vicenze told reporters "When I realised that I was holding the actual Baton of Truth I just couldn't believe it."

empty space gif HOME SECRETARY U-TURN
In yet another damaging blow. the home secretary was forced into an embarrasing u-turn after his recent climbdown on the issue of policy changes on the hoof.

This latest gaffe coincides with recent calls for all gaffes to be vetoed by a standing whip. A spokesman denied that there was any conflict within the cabinet, pointing out that "the standing whip vote is a free vote and that no final u turn will be considered until the findings of the independent cross standing committe had been given due and careful scrutiny. I thank you."
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your stars
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stunnas
Warning contains adult and mature content.
Stunning XXX pics
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sportswreck
No nickname agony
FIFA to Ross County
The true cost of big
money transfers
and much, much more
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