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Edition # 6
World news through our eyes
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CHELSEA BOSS EYES MAN UNITED
Billionaire Chelsea supremo Roman Abramovich is said to be ready to take over Manchester United for a fee of £1bn. While Man Utd insiders denied any official approach, Fergie-watchers pointed to the close season David Beckham transfer
saga, the poaching of Man Utd finance supremo Peter Kenyon, the loss of key players (including Veron to Chelsea) and the increasingly erratic behaviour of Sir Alex. Few, it would seem, would blame shareholders for mulling over the possibility of off-loading the
legendary but now troubled club for such a mammoth sum.

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Roman
Abramovich
Cash-splashing Chelsea have been tipped as championship favourites following the huge financial injection and signing bonanza provided by their flamboyant, yet shadowy, chairman. Just when the Premiership money bubble appeared to have burst, Abramovich produced for the sleeping giants of London a massive hi-finance soapy mixture of lofty ambition and hard cash to revive the fortunes of
his boyhood dream club.

The maverick Russian businessman is said to have been in crunch talks with computer supremo
Bill Gates in a joint bid to buy everything in the world. All eyes this season, however, are on
Stamford Bridge.
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1966 HERO BLASTS PLASTIC PITCH
1966 World Cup hero Sir Bobby Charlton blasted Dunfermline FC over their decision to install a plastic football pitch. The futuristic surface, said to a cross between astroturf and lego, is the first to be used in the UK and has attracted criticism from many in the game who fear for the future of grass.

Pitch-watchers point to the variety of surfaces used in tennis - such as clay, grass and carpet - and fear that the Dunfermline model will divide footballers into

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grass
those who are good on grass and those whose game is more suited to plastic. At the FIFA Fair Play Awards bash in Geneva this week, 1966 world cup winner and Man Utd legend Sir Bobby warned of the tennis-isation of football. "I'd be happy if someone could explain to me what exactly was wrong with traditional grass. I blast Dunfermline FC."
Sport and Football
Sports & FIFA News #1
Curling & Football #2
Formula One & Sport #3
Football & Sport #4
Cricket & Football #5
Rugby & Horse Racing #6
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empty space gifRUGBY WORLD CUP SONG FURY
Moves to broaden the appeal of rugby for the forthcoming world cup have caused fury after the choice of "I Will Survive" as the official anthem for the England World Cup team. Gloria Gaynor's classic disco hit has been branded "too gay" by purists who point to the negro gospel spiritual "Swing Low Sweet Chariot" as the traditional and more appropriate favourite of middle class English rugby-goers. Kevin Smart of the Rugby United fanzine told wreckered, "We have nothing against gay anthems, but to ask English rugby fans to learn a new song and a completely
new set of hand-moves in time for the World Cup beggars belief."

empty space gifA package of measures mooted by Culture minister Tessa Jowell designed to make the sport more widely accessible includes mixed sex teams, gay referees and an oblong shaped ball which will bounce in even more unpredictable patterns than the current oval ball.The row prompted Scotland legend Gavin Hastings to plead for calm. "It is the fans who in the end will choose the song, no matter how catchy the alternatives". Former England hero Will Carling scoffed at the suggestion that homophobia is rife in rugby culture. "I've got wavy hair and I bonked Princess Diana and you can't get much more gay than that."

 
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HORSE RACING - COULD IT WORK FOR COWS ?
Claims that a form of horse racing for cows, so-called "cow racing", could reinvigorate the gambling industry were made at a hush-hush meeting of farmers, breeders and online betting firms. "Punters are always looking for something new" said farmer David Howie, "and cow racing could be the next big thing."

Insiders are said to be looking favourably at the proposal. Said one bookmaker, "These days you have dogs, camels and ostriches competing on the track. There is no good reason why cows shouldn't also be put through their paces."

The initial proposal is for racecows between the ages of three and five to compete over a mile. The cows would be jockeyless and, much like greyhounds, would chase an attractive moving target. David Howie has suggested an electric rail which would propel a life-sized farmer carrying a mini-trough.

James Steel of the Farmers Union gave cautious backing to the plan, but called for more support from government for British farmers. "Diversification In Action is one thing but to have dairy cows charging round a track urged on by excited racegoers is bound to have an effect on yield".

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are horses on the way out..

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and cows on the way in ?
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WRECKERED QUICK QUIZ
Which is fastest over a half mile:
a) the ostrich
b) the horse
c) the cow
d) the camel
  Email wreckered with the words Quick Quiz in the subject line of your email, followed by your choice of animal.

Winner receives a free gif and a mention in
next month's edition.
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