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Edition # 7
World news through our eyes
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Rugby world cup fans are up in arms after claims that "you can't get a decent pint" in Australia.
Supporters of England and Scotland have formed an unlikely alliance after grumblings from both sets of fans reached fever pitch.

Kevin Smart of Rugby United fanzine voiced the concerns of England fans who have made the long trip to follow their favourites in the glamour tournament. "Its nothing but lager down here - Fosters and Four X and all sorts of other fizzy crap. That might be alright for women and Italians but it is a major disappointment for the man who likes a good pint of bitter with a decent head on it."

Scot Barry Watson agreed,"This is pish. You'd think after the Olympics they'd have had this sorted out. Its a bit much when you come to a major rugby event and have to bring your own beer."

Well-heeled rugby-goers of both countries are presently in frantic negotiations with Aussie port authorities to allow a specially chartered container ship full of Belhaven to dock in
Sydney harbour.

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empty space gifNEW ROW OVER F1 TYRES
Formula One has been rocked by a second tyres row in recent weeks. The controversial ten-sided Decagrip tyres have left F1 bosses scratching their heads after claims that the new tyre will give 90% extra grip for 90% of each revolution. Decagrip spokesman David Weiss told assembled F1 journalists that the company is close to striking a deal with Williams, Ferrari and Jaguar after recent demonstrations wowed engineers. The new trye allows cars to negotiate the tightest of curves at speeds of up to 190kmh.

John Clark of Jaguar told wreckered, "We are looking favourably at the concept but have to resolve the issues of extra power and improved suspension which a race car would require in order to fully exploit the extra grip provided by a ten-sided tyre."

F1 chiefs, still reeling after the row involving Michelin tyres which grow bigger during races, are said to be wary of the innovation. Said one insider, "While we are all for anything which makes the sport safer, we do not want Formula One to turn into some sort of Wacky Races."

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FA bosses are set to rock football by forcing Arsenal players to wear boxing gloves. The bad boys of the Premiership have amassed record numbers of red cards in recent months and were involved in a controversial brawl at the end of last month's ill tempered match with Manchester United which left four players dead and a number of match officials seriously wounded.

Gunners boss Arsene Wenger has slammed the decision, citing provocation by rivals and an anti-Arsenal conspiracy in the smoke-filled rooms of the FA. The fiercely loyal Wenger, himself a fifth dan in the French martial art of savate, told wreckered "Football is a man's game and sometimes things happen on the pitch which would not happen in the corridors of power, such as punching and biting and some forms of ju-jitsu."

Arsenal's lawyers are studying the ruling closely, but a spokesman for UEFA told reporters that he expected the boxing gloves edict to be in place by Christmas. "The safety of players is paramount", said Michel Papin."There is no point in outlawing the tackle from the back when players can start a game with their fingers covered in sovereign rings."

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In last month's wreckered competition we asked which of the following
would be quickest over a half mile race: the Horse, the Cow, the Ostrich
or the Camel.

Reader Malygos correctly predicted the Ostrich.
A free gif is on its way to Malygos.

This month's wreckered competition is to do with driving gloves and can
be found in our motoring supplement.

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