WORLD CUP BEER FURY
Rugby world cup fans are up in arms after claims that "you
can't get a decent pint" in Australia.
Supporters of England and Scotland have formed an unlikely alliance
after grumblings from both sets of fans reached fever pitch.
of Rugby United fanzine voiced the concerns of England fans who
have made the long trip to follow their favourites in the glamour
tournament. "Its nothing but lager down here - Fosters and
Four X and all sorts of other fizzy crap. That might be alright
for women and Italians but it is a major disappointment for the
man who likes a good pint of bitter with a decent head on it."
Scot Barry Watson
agreed,"This is pish. You'd think after the Olympics they'd
have had this sorted out. Its a bit much when you come to a major
rugby event and have to bring your own beer."
Well-heeled rugby-goers of both countries are presently in frantic
negotiations with Aussie port authorities to allow a specially chartered
container ship full of Belhaven to dock in
ROW OVER F1 TYRES
Formula One has been rocked by a second tyres row in recent
weeks. The controversial ten-sided Decagrip tyres have left F1 bosses
scratching their heads after claims that the new tyre will give
90% extra grip for 90% of each revolution. Decagrip spokesman David
Weiss told assembled F1 journalists that the company is close to
striking a deal with Williams, Ferrari and Jaguar after recent demonstrations
wowed engineers. The new trye allows cars to negotiate the tightest
of curves at speeds of up to 190kmh.
John Clark of
Jaguar told wreckered, "We are looking favourably at the concept
but have to resolve the issues of extra power and improved suspension
which a race car would require in order to fully exploit the extra
grip provided by a ten-sided tyre."
F1 chiefs, still
reeling after the row involving Michelin tyres which grow bigger
during races, are said to be wary of the innovation. Said one insider,
"While we are all for anything which makes the sport safer,
we do not want Formula One to turn into some sort of Wacky Races."
STARS TO WEAR BOXING GLOVES
FA bosses are set to rock football by forcing Arsenal players to wear
boxing gloves. The bad boys of the Premiership have amassed record
numbers of red cards in recent months and were involved in a controversial
brawl at the end of last month's ill tempered match with Manchester
United which left four players dead and a number of match officials
Gunners boss Arsene Wenger has slammed the decision, citing provocation
by rivals and an anti-Arsenal conspiracy in the smoke-filled rooms
of the FA. The fiercely loyal Wenger, himself a fifth dan in the French
martial art of savate, told wreckered "Football is a man's game
and sometimes things happen on the pitch which would not happen in
the corridors of power, such as punching and biting and some forms
Arsenal's lawyers are studying the ruling closely, but a spokesman
for UEFA told reporters that he expected the boxing gloves edict to
be in place by Christmas. "The safety of players is paramount",
said Michel Papin."There is no point in outlawing the tackle
from the back when players can start a game with their fingers covered
in sovereign rings."
In last month's wreckered competition we asked which of the following
would be quickest over a half mile race: the Horse, the Cow, the Ostrich
or the Camel.
Reader Malygos correctly predicted the Ostrich.
gif is on its way to Malygos.
This month's wreckered competition
is to do with driving gloves
be found in our motoring
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