Olympic sports mandarins are assessing sex as an Olympic event.
Following the success of the recent Amsterdam Sex Olympics, the
IOC is giving consideration for calls to make sex an official Olympic
Jan Weuters, head of the IOC steering committee admitted that colleagues
have been studying video tapes and DVDs of the Amsterdam event.
Said Weuters, " With synchronised swimming and ballroom dancing
now part of the Olympic curriculum, it may only be a matter of time
before sexual activity is recognised as a genuine sport".
While the IOC is reluctant to release details, it is believed that
the proposal contains suggestions for a so-called "Sexathon"
whereby international teams would compete in a knock-out tournament
of three rounds, comprising tests of duration, orgasm volume and
a freestyle event.
Supporters of the proposal cite criteria such as stamina, style
and artistic content and point to the global popularity of sex not
only as a hobby among consenting adults, but as a genuine and inclusive
spectator friendly event. Further, say activists, sex fulfils The
Olympic Truce resolution, "Building a peaceful and better world
through sport and the Olympic Ideal".
DRUGS IN SPORT
- the truth
With drugs an increasing part of modern sport, we asked an expert
to test the effects of recreational drugs on various sports. Dr
Martin Miller asked six regular drug users to take part in a range
of sporting activities whilst under the influence of three popular
drugs. His findings make for shock results.
Cannabis - useful in low impact sports such as
snooker, bowls and darts. Extremely negative results in the 100
metre hurdles and the pole vault.
Cocaine - short term boost to seratonin levels
put competitors "in the zone" before the start of each
event. A 100 metre sprint saw all competitors quick off the blocks
but suffer attention deficit before reaching the finish line. 20-30%
performace enhancement for ten pin bowling. Minimal performance
enhancement for golf.
Ecstasy: useless in all sports except the four-
Dr Miller told wreckered that while his experiments currently lacked
empirical data, his six guinea pigs were keen to take part in further
tests. "They all claim to have developed a keen interest in science."
- ARCTIC OPEN
"only a matter of time"
After years of lobbying by Greenland's golf officials, the inaugaural
Arctic Open could happen as soon as 2005.
World number one Tiger Woods was a spectator at the fourth World
Ice Golf Championship in the town of Uummannaq in Northern Greenland
and is said to have given his blessing to a proposal to make the
event part of golf's official calender. Said a spokesman "It
is only a matter of time". World Ice Golf Champion Roger Beames
welcomed the moves and urged golfers of the world to unite behind
Jack O'Keefe is a regular competitor. "The cold doesn't matter
as much when there is so much to wonder at. It feels surreal here,
a little like a film set, or maybe the surface of the moon. The
surroundings reminded me of the final scene in the Superman movie
where Clark flys back to Krypton".
O'Keefe's view and that of other Ice Golfers can be found at www.greenland-guide.dk/icegolf/