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Edition # 11
World news through our eyes
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Frankie Boyle shortest comedian in history of Commonwealth Games.

Controversial comedian Frankie Boyle is to be part of Scotland's pole vault team for the Commonwealth Games in 2014.

The acid-tongued comic, who stands only four feet eight inches tall, is said to be one of the shortest pole vault competitors in the history of the sport. While Boyle's personality and talent make him seem almost as tall as a normal man, publicity photographs such as the one shown (left) prove that most photographers are taller than him.

Former Mock The Week star Boyle spoke to wreckered about his pole vaulting ambitions:"I got the status, I leap higher than all haters. See me leap, feel yourself weep, as I sweep, all the gold, cos I'm bold and my story ain't been told."

Wreckered wishes Frankie Boyle all the best for his Commonwealth games pole vault.

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Scottish town Cumbernauld could be the shock new destination for the British Grand Prix. Rumours that Silverstone is to be sold off to housing developers have sparked a rash of applications from towns across the UK eager to host the prestige race. Cumbernauld town council have lodged a bid with Formula One bosses.

The town's complex road mixture of dual carriageway, motorway, well surfaced residential crescents, more dual carriageway, flyovers, underpasses and roundabouts could make Cumbernauld "the Monaco of the north."

For the latest, greatest and breaking news in the F1 world, visit our friends at GrandPrixDiary.com

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Shinty supremo David Hamilton has blasted television coverage of shinty. In a shock outburst, the self styled "camanachd czar" lambasted coverage of the sport and threatened to kill TV sports presenter Jim Delahunt.

£15m deal
Speaking at a whisky sponsored fund raising dinner in Oban, Hamilton claimed that the Shinty Association had been in talks with Sky TV in a deal which could be worth up to £15m. Guests laughed nervously however, when a clearly emotional Hamilton went on to describe what he'd like to to do to Jim Delahunt. Fellow speaker Matt Thomas said, "I think there was a sense of David saying, "Get it up ye" to Jim Delahunt."

Guest of honour Lorne Walton tells wreckered, "During his speech, he was going on about how a deal with Sky would raise the profile of the game and allow most of the teams to get a new minibus. Somebody shouted out, "Aye and it'd be good if Monopoly money was real". Then Davie just lost it" .

no response
There has been no response from the Jim Delahunt camp but industry insiders say that this is because the diminutive sports presenter lives in a box between shows and only comes out for food.
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"I remember when big Bill Brady climbed up on the table and urinated over the reds. It was mind games even back then." Snooker legend Joe Heenan was speaking out after the recent outbreak of boorish behaviour by players in the World Championship.

Heenan, four times winner of the event in the 1970's, told wreckered that trying to pysche out your opponent has always been in the game. Still a popular figure on the veteran circuit, Heenan laughed as he recalled some of the tricks he'd used. "Back then it was common for players to be scarfing vodkas and smoking cigarettes while our opponent was at the table. Sometimes I used to guzzle my opponent's vodka while he wasn't looking. I did it four times to Dennis Raymond in the '74 final." Heenan lost that match 17-0.

Others had their signature tactics. People's champion Alex Higgins is said to have grown extra long nose hair in a bid to disrupt his opponent's composure. Says Heenan," There's nothing new in bad boy behaviour. It is the drugs nowadays what worry me".

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