FRANKIE BOYLE TO POLE VAULT IN 2014
Frankie Boyle shortest comedian in history of Commonwealth
Controversial comedian Frankie Boyle is to be part
of Scotland's pole vault team for the Commonwealth Games in 2014.
The acid-tongued comic, who stands only four feet eight inches
tall, is said to be one of the shortest pole vault competitors in
the history of the sport. While Boyle's personality and talent make
him seem almost as tall as a normal man, publicity photographs such
as the one shown (left) prove that most photographers are taller
Former Mock The Week star Boyle spoke to wreckered about his
pole vaulting ambitions:"I got the status, I leap higher
than all haters. See me leap, feel yourself weep, as I sweep, all
the gold, cos I'm bold and my story ain't been told."
Wreckered wishes Frankie Boyle all the best for his Commonwealth
games pole vault.
PRIX FOR CUMBERNAULD
Scottish town Cumbernauld could be the shock new destination for
the British Grand Prix. Rumours that Silverstone is to be sold off
to housing developers have sparked a rash of applications from towns
across the UK eager to host the prestige race. Cumbernauld town
council have lodged a bid with Formula One bosses.
The town's complex road mixture of dual carriageway, motorway,
well surfaced residential crescents, more dual carriageway, flyovers,
underpasses and roundabouts could make Cumbernauld "the Monaco
of the north."
For the latest, greatest and breaking news in the F1 world, visit
our friends at GrandPrixDiary.com
|SHINTY MAN IN JIM DELAHUNT OUTBURST
Shinty supremo David Hamilton has blasted television coverage of shinty.
In a shock outburst, the self styled "camanachd czar" lambasted
coverage of the sport and threatened to kill TV sports presenter Jim
Speaking at a whisky sponsored fund raising dinner in Oban, Hamilton
claimed that the Shinty Association had been in talks with Sky TV
in a deal which could be worth up to £15m. Guests laughed nervously
however, when a clearly emotional Hamilton went on to describe what
he'd like to to do to Jim Delahunt. Fellow speaker Matt Thomas said,
"I think there was a sense of David saying, "Get it up ye"
to Jim Delahunt."
Guest of honour Lorne Walton tells wreckered, "During
his speech, he was going on about how a deal with Sky would raise
the profile of the game and allow most of the teams to get a new minibus.
Somebody shouted out, "Aye and it'd be good if Monopoly money
was real". Then Davie just lost it" .
There has been no response from the Jim Delahunt camp but industry
insiders say that this is because the diminutive sports presenter
lives in a box between shows and only comes out for food.
SNOOKER - THE BAD BOY IS
"I remember when big Bill Brady climbed up on the table and
urinated over the reds. It was mind games even back then."
Snooker legend Joe Heenan was speaking out after the recent outbreak
of boorish behaviour by players in the World Championship.
Heenan, four times winner of the event in the 1970's, told wreckered
that trying to pysche out your opponent has always been in the game.
Still a popular figure on the veteran circuit, Heenan laughed as
he recalled some of the tricks he'd used. "Back then it was
common for players to be scarfing vodkas and smoking cigarettes
while our opponent was at the table. Sometimes I used to guzzle
my opponent's vodka while he wasn't looking. I did it four times
to Dennis Raymond in the '74 final." Heenan lost that match
Others had their signature tactics. People's champion Alex Higgins
is said to have grown extra long nose hair in a bid to disrupt his
opponent's composure. Says Heenan," There's nothing new in
bad boy behaviour. It is the drugs nowadays what worry me".