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Edition # 13
The news that others refuse to regard as news
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JOHN LENNON ALIVE!

"Death" was art concept by Yoko

At a press conference in New York City, Yoko Ono told stunned reporters of how John Lennon is alive and well and living as a recluse "somewhere in the USA".

The ex-Beatle's "murder" outside the Dakota building in 1980 was a conceptual art piece planned by Yoko and John in a bid to bring about world peace. "We had been looking at new ways to say war is over. John thought it would be interesting to stage his own death and that the inevitable sadness which would follow could bring change, could bring peace to the people. Grief was our canvas, bullets our paint."

The Concept
Famously, Ono and Lennon's 1969 Bed-In for Peace failed to produce peace. It took many years for the couple to hit on a new idea to bring peace. Says Ono, "We'd thought about a Drive-In, a Golf-In, a Swiming With Dolphins-In and then we came up with the Dakota idea. Whenever there is a great tragedy, there is a desire from people that such a thing must never happen again. I felt we could tap into this feeling by having John shot".

Mark Chapman
Quizzed about the "shooter", Mark Chapman, Ono explained, "Mark was heavily influenced by the New Nihilist-Dada Movement, and by Andy Warhol. He agreed that for him to go to jail for the rest of his life would be the ultimate artistic expression. A coup d'art."

Recordings
Incredibly, Lennon has been writing and recording songs since 1988 using a variety of aliases. Ono told reporters that even the other musicians on the sessions did not know that they were working with Lennon. "He was always in heavy disguise. There was one recording session in London around 1995 when John was fearful that Noel Gallagher had recognised him, but he hadn't."



Rave
Ono claims that Lennon got "totally into" the British rave scene of the early 90's and had two massive club hits in 1993 under the name Jagga (this a dismissive reference to the Rolling Stones frontman).

In a good place
Ono refused to say where Lennon was living, stating only that he was in a good place and happy to be out of the public eye. As to the timing of the shock announcement, Ono claimed that time itself is art and that art is an expression of time.

Reaction
George Martin (famed Beatles producer)
"This would be just like John. I wish him happiness in this chapter of his life".

Ringo Starr
"I've told you before - don't contact me, don't speak to me, don't send me any fan mail. I never liked him anyway after that thing he said about Paul being a better drummer. Peace."

Noel Gallagher
"I knew it was him. I f****** knew it."

 



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