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Edition # 14
Alien Abductions
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Alien Abductions

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Cartoon by the excellent Janne Karlsson. Check out more abductions on our Janne Karlsson page




The Top Five Alien Abductions since 2000

 

Lady Gaga Penis

The penis of Lady Gaga is rumoured to have been abducted some time in 2009. Oddly, this period co-incides with the pop sensation's rapid rise to global stardom and pop music domination. Coincidence? Wreckered thinks not. Only an alien technology beyond our comprehension could have produced the pop phenomenon which now has over 14 billion twitter followers - a number which is more than twice the population of planet Earth.


Ringo Starr's Sense of Perspective

Ex-Beatle Ringo had his sense of perspective taken from him some time between 1964 and 2004. A famous YouTube clip shows Ringo in irritation, warning that he will no longer accept fan mail or gifts from people.


Balornock, Glasgow

An area in the east end of Glasgow, Scotland has seen all of it's inhabitants "removed" in the last two years. Official government and local council briefings state that the disappearance of Balornock's citizens is explained by a mass enforced relocation in order to make the area available for athletes. A wreckered investigation has been unable to locate any of the former residents of Balornock. Cover up or conspiracy? You decide.



The Money of the United Kingdom

How do you lose that much money? How do you spend that much money? Could you lend that much money and not get any of it back? Could you borrow that much money without ever being able to repay it?

The answer: aliens have agents on earth. Namely, a branch of the Illuminati who specialise in sub-prime lending.


Hope

Abducted in the late 1990's, hope was our last hope. Theorists argue that the disappearance of hope was the work of a shadowy cabal of earthling dictators in league with their alien masters.

Nigel Buckland, theorist, astronomist and professional Welshman, has claimed that hope is a resource and that alien life-forms have mined hope from the people of our planet as they have from many other humanoid civilisations across our galaxy.
Buckland told wreckered, "It's heavy duty. Like, really, really, heavy duty. We are totally fucking hopeless."

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Motoring #6
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